Inner Artist Grove On

I admit it, I am in an artist slump. Writers have writers block and I have my artist slumps. I have blocks and issues and fears. I experience general feelings is isolation and bitterness. I admit to being totally green with jealousy of others peoples success stories. Stories that should inspire me that if my friends can make it there is hope for me. But, in my 'slumpist mentality' all I see is my self fading. I lose hope. I see all the things I have not accomplished instead of listing all the things I have accomplished. And damn it, I have done a lot of really cool things. Yet I can't help feeling jealous. When is my time going to come, my break. I start asking how long can I do this...I procrastinate. I sit around thinking about all the things I COULD be or SHOULD be doing. Like a writer stares at a blank screen I stare into the mirror with a blank look in my eyes it is as if I am an empty canvas. I could try to get that inner artist out. Get the creative mojo flowing. I could: Doodle; Write; Paint; Color with crayons; I make masks, or clocks why not make one? I could blast some tunes and dance like a Young Patrick Swayze was by my side. I could write a blog. OK, check I am doing that. Is it helping? a little.

I am going to trust that everyday good or bad I am in charge of my own life. I am going to know that someone else's success is fantastic and it is their success not mine. I am going to trust that I am creating the structure through which all of my gifts will be actualized. I am going to trust that every day things are happening and seeds under the surface are growing for MY success and I am going to trust that my inner artist is jazzed and ready to go but sometimes its OK for her to be tired and not so artsy. Its snowing, I think I am going to go play in the snow....I think my inner artist would like that.