As some of you know I had two cesarean births, and struggled with the "meaning" of both because I was convinced for some reason V was better. I have been talking and thinking a lot about birth lately as some of my best friends are pregnant or trying to become pregnant. I hear the same conversations from them about being "afraid" of epidurals or c-sections. I keep trying to say healthy babies are happy babies but I must admit my birth experiences were not what I had "wanted". Today out of the blue my daughter said to me (I paraphrase) : "Mom, remember when I was in your belly? It was really dark in there and I wanted to come out. But I could not find the door. It was scary. I looked for a door and I looked and Looked. I found your heart beat and that made me feel better but I pulled on it and I still could not find a door and I really wanted to come out." Now, She was breech, nestled close, under my heart & we tried a version but it did not work. We had a cesarean birth three days later. The cord was tied twice around her neck. She would not have survived a vaginal birth. I replied "Well, Your Doctor and I knew you were having a hard time finding the door. So we made one for you!"...."yes" she replies " I remember I liked that door. Thank you Mommy." ANd that conversation just blew my mind. I had to share to those of you working on birthing choices to know that a cesarian birth can and is a good thing physically and spiritually for you and baby.
wIth my first birth I took a "hypnobirthing" class--all about meditation and I did learn a lot from it--including the power of the birth plan. But the teacher was insinuating when we were having complications and breech presentation that it lead from a deep fear of mine and that I needed to meditate and heal myself-which lead to guilt and confusion on my side--thinking I was somehow to blame. I left the class, and used what I wanted from the course, and actually had an amazing and calm, love filled sacred cesarean birth. WIth my son we attempted vbac but it did not work, but again, I was prepared and okay with it due to a stellar birth plan. Again we had another lovely and sacred cesarean birth and this time I got to enjoy the beauty of labour and the connection it created with my baby. As part of the healer/spiritual community I get sad about the guilt we place on each other and ourselves--be it how we conceive, give birth, or feed our children. The fact that men and women alike assume that if it is true for them or their family it must be true for everyone else too. When I was pregnant with my son, and struggling with it my brother insinuated that birth and pregnancy were easy and that I was making a big deal out of nothing--mainly because his wife had easy pregnancy and births. I have heard some women and men scoff at IVF conception, pity a woman who gives birth via cesarean, or gt preachy at the mention of epidurals or medications during birth, still many more shudder at a woman who gives formula or other who are disgusted when a woman nurses in public--and god-forbid she nurses a toddler! We create a cloud of fear for women who are in a very fragile place in their lives, so my point is--to those of us who are struggling or looking for approval or peace--I just want you to know you are doing okay and you and your baby and your family are making the right choices!! I DID have the birth both me and my babies I wanted. My main point here is is trying to explain that the births I had were the right choice, not just medically but spiritually as well! And, I really really hope we all (me included) stop thinking that cesarean births are some-how "less than" or somehow not complete. Because they are. Even our babies agree.
my two very healthy and happy cesarean birth babies!
wIth my first birth I took a "hypnobirthing" class--all about meditation and I did learn a lot from it--including the power of the birth plan. But the teacher was insinuating when we were having complications and breech presentation that it lead from a deep fear of mine and that I needed to meditate and heal myself-which lead to guilt and confusion on my side--thinking I was somehow to blame. I left the class, and used what I wanted from the course, and actually had an amazing and calm, love filled sacred cesarean birth. WIth my son we attempted vbac but it did not work, but again, I was prepared and okay with it due to a stellar birth plan. Again we had another lovely and sacred cesarean birth and this time I got to enjoy the beauty of labour and the connection it created with my baby. As part of the healer/spiritual community I get sad about the guilt we place on each other and ourselves--be it how we conceive, give birth, or feed our children. The fact that men and women alike assume that if it is true for them or their family it must be true for everyone else too. When I was pregnant with my son, and struggling with it my brother insinuated that birth and pregnancy were easy and that I was making a big deal out of nothing--mainly because his wife had easy pregnancy and births. I have heard some women and men scoff at IVF conception, pity a woman who gives birth via cesarean, or gt preachy at the mention of epidurals or medications during birth, still many more shudder at a woman who gives formula or other who are disgusted when a woman nurses in public--and god-forbid she nurses a toddler! We create a cloud of fear for women who are in a very fragile place in their lives, so my point is--to those of us who are struggling or looking for approval or peace--I just want you to know you are doing okay and you and your baby and your family are making the right choices!! I DID have the birth both me and my babies I wanted. My main point here is is trying to explain that the births I had were the right choice, not just medically but spiritually as well! And, I really really hope we all (me included) stop thinking that cesarean births are some-how "less than" or somehow not complete. Because they are. Even our babies agree.
No comments:
Post a Comment